Be it known to all agents that the purpose of this document is to determine the referent of the URI

This document hereby declares, establishes and records the fact that the URI is owned by Pat Hayes and is intended by Pat Hayes to rigidly denote himself, Patrick John Hayes, commonly known as Pat Hayes, US resident alien and UK citizen, born in the town of Newent, Gloucestershire, UK, on 21 August 1944, the only son of Alexander and Betty Hayes and brother of Mary Ellen Hayes, of Canton, Cardiff: the legal person and living breathing human being whose US social security number is the decimal rendering of the hexadecimal 21D930EA and whose facial features can be inspected in Brobdingnagian detail by clicking here.

Any interpretation under which the URI denotes anything other than Pat Hayes as described in this document is hereby declared to be an incorrect and false interpretation. In particular, the URI does not denote the HTML document that is related to that URI by the HTTP GET protocol, the rendering of said HTML document that you are now reading, Pat Hayes' web page, email address or indeed anything that can be encoded in bytes and sent over a network.

Machine-readable information which may help fix the denotation of the URI will be added to this page in due course.